Domestic Violence: Meet the 55 year old Who was mistreated by the Wife.

When he finally agreed to this interview, I met Hannington Musoke, 55, a businessman late evening at Uganda Clays Limited playground in Kajjansi, Wakiso District.

It was not the most appropriate place – a few metres away from where we sat, a group of men played omweeso, and we had to borrow a bench from the people living in the nearby rentals.

Curious at what we were doing behind their house, a group of men, who seemed to be straddling the midpoint between nursing a hangover and getting drunk again, inched closer to us. They speculated quietly that Musoke must be a professor, and I, his student, taking notes. Indeed, with his quiet demeanour and gentleness, Musoke does seem like a professor. His voice even goes a notch lower as he narrates the abuse he suffered at his wife’s hands.

“I met Florence Nabirye in 1975, at Hilltop Hotel where we were both working, in Kitgum District. I was the assistant head cook and she was a waitress. I fell in love, although she was seven years older than I am.”

The two began living together as man and wife and left Kitgum to settle in Luweero District. Unfortunately, after one year, the liberation war broke out in 1981 and they fled to Kampala, settling in Kawempe at his uncle’s home.
“My great aunt told me to settle my family on her plot of land in Kategula Zone in Kibuye, Kampala. I started working as a lorry driver- driving other people’s lorries, until I made enough to buy my own.”

In 1986, with permission from his great-aunt, he built a three-room house on the 25 decimals plot. It was after the house was completed that his wife’s behaviour began changing.

“She did not want me to discipline our children – we had then six. Her relatives lived with us. You can imagine 18 people living in a three-room house.”

Nabirye demanded control of all that Musoke had. When she ordered that he registers the new lorry in her name, he refused.
“She was like a bad boss; asking to know how much I made every day and how much was in my bank account. When I built rentals behind our house, she took charge of them, saying that I was going to die quickly, so all the property should be in her name.”
The forced marriage
In 1991, without Musoke’s knowledge, his wife arranged their wedding.
“I came back early one day and found religious leaders at our home. They said my wife wanted to join Mothers Union and her entrance had to be consecrated, with a feast, and some vows.”

On the appointed day, many people attended the feast. Musoke says it was as they were standing in front of the reverend that he got to know it was a marriage ceremony.

“I was so shocked that I just repeated the reverend’s words. I distinctly recall her relatives saying they had got what they had always wanted – my home.”

From then onwards, there was no peace in Musoke’s home. When he quarrelled about her relatives’ continued presence, his wife answered back with bitter, hurtful words. She stopped his relatives from setting foot in the home.

Walking away

While checking in his wife’s suitcase, he found a letter from a witchdoctor telling her to kill him, his father and one of their children. There was also traditional medicine in every corner of the house.”
In 1993, Musoke left his home with only the clothes on his back and the lorry’s registration card. He rented a room in Kajjansi.

A few months later, his family called a meeting at his marital home to try to settle the couple’s domestic issues.
“My daughter served me a cup of tea; I suddenly realised that I was alone in the sitting room. The cup felt very heavy so I poured out some tea.”

When his wife found the half-empty cup, she asked him why he had not finished the tea. Musoke suggested that their lastborn son should drink the tea, and called him.